March
“‘What’s it like to fall in love, Tessie?’ I asked. She gazed into the darkness for a long moment, then her smile widened. ‘Well, when you see that certain man, your heart flies like paper on the wind— don’t matter if you see him one minute ago or one year ago. When you with him, ain’t nothing or nobody else in the whole world but him. You might be walking down the same old street you walk on every day, but if you with him, your feet don’t hardly touch the ground, like you just floating on a little cloud. And honey, you want his arms to be around you more than you want air to breathe.’” - “A Candle in the Darkness”
“There is one sin which I have come to fear above all others. Certainty. Certainty is the great enemy of unity. Certainty is the deadly enemy of tolerance. Our faith is a living thing precisely because it walks hand in hand with doubt.” - “Conclave”
“Wherever I'm lacking
It's He who makes me whole
Shining through the darkness
And cleaning out my soul
While I'm fighting daily battles
On Him, I can depend
When I open up my heart
And let Him in
When I lie awake at night, fed up with myself
And wonder if I'm good enough for me or someone else
But I know that God does
Well, I know that God does”
- Red Clay Strays
“An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest. Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child and had him stand beside him. Then he said to them, ‘Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.’” - Luke 9:46-48
The thrill of advent !
“Life in a prison cell, in which one waits, hopes – and is completely dependent on the fact that the door of freedom has to be opened from the outside, is not a bad picture of Advent.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer
The three of us lit the first Advent candle at church on Sunday and James read aloud: “Today we light the hope candle, holding fast to the promise of God breaking into the world. We prepare for the glorious impossible of Emmanuel—’God with us.’”
“Glorious impossible” … Not many words sound sweeter !!!
My idea of Advent at age eight was taking turns fighting with (brother) James and Kathleen over filling in the Advent calendar. Now I get the irresistible itch when I see festive high-end window displays from the street. The thingssss! Santa has been at SouthPark since early November! Farmer’s market has the best (and most expensive) garland and wreaths so gotta shop there. Cursory inventory of my Christmas china tells me I need more. “True meaning of the season” takes a backseat in all of these scenarios despite none being out of line at face value.
My two cents that you didn’t ask for is “true meaning of the season” is played out. We hear the words, but it doesn’t jolt us out of our routine all that much, and culturally “true meaning” could infer many things— plenty of which are good, but not ultimate.
ADVENT, though, is not played out.
Celebrating Advent not only makes Christmas Day more jubilant, but it adds a stillness and an awe to my December, a welcomed defense against the asking-for-things, shopping, parties, traveling, expectations, etc. I’ve found the more I celebrate it, the more I crave what comes with it. Small things throughout our day that prompt us to pause and BE STILL AND BASK out of wonder in His love for us immediately usher in peace. Our next-door neighbor has a life-size nativity scene in his front yard and James loves walking over there. It’s such a slight thing, but it brings me gratitude-to-the-brim to see his fat, little sticky fingers pointing to the manger when I ask him where baby Jesus is. It’s also a game for him to swipe the delicate pieces of our own nativity scene inside, in order to throw them. Win some, lose some, ya know !!!
From a fiction book I just finished reading: “Like the figures in the manger scene, Jesus didn’t need to be kept at a distance, but enjoyed and loved.”
Other ways I can position my heart to long for His coming:
seek out Advent daily devotional… bought this one for us and loving it, also eyeing this one
read Luke chapters 1 and 2 as a family
watch Christmas movies with truer meaning… Joyeux Noel, about WWI, is uplifting and The Bells of St. Mary’s is a black and white feel-good
live out Acts 20:35: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
>>> I’ve always put deliberate thought into my combined December birthday/Christmas one-shot-a-year-at-this-thing wish-list. But truly, it feels silly to ask for expensive things when you reflect on the essence of Christ. It is not more crystal or a vintage coat, Anna. Of course there’s nothing wrong with having wants and my mom will definitely ask for some ideas to work with and it’s not like I’ll have to humbly rack my brain to come up with something… my siblings reading this are laughing at the thought of such a notion……… but how can I consistently align my focus to what Jesus is specifically beckoning me to this season
be intentional about scheduling time to serve the less fortunate !!!
serve those right in front of me. my family, friends, neighbors, sitters, strangers, whomever God puts in my path that day (this requires having my eyes OPEN and slowwwwing down) Lord, make me watchful in humility and availability
make room in my heart for Him to change me … “make no mistake, He will bring the high places low. He will humble you and dismantle your ego. He’ll transform you into someone you never dreamed you could be. But the road won’t be easy; you won’t feel prepared for such a journey. But Jesus will prepare you for all He has for you.” Hits home!
listen and re-listen to this podcast episode (couple other good ones here & here)
know I will fail at all of the above a time or many and instead of admonishing myself, thanking Jesus that He is who He says He is, so I can reset and try again with His grace
The Thrill of Advent, or in other words, keeping the main thing the main thing, is so worth going against the grain for here and there.
And the main thing:
“At Christmastime you ought to ask if peace with God is the wonder of your life. You ought to think about it all the time. The real secret to receiving this peace with God is you’ve got to admit you’re at war. Paul says in Romans 8:7 the natural condition of your heart is enmity against God… it will not submit to God; indeed it cannot. What a radical statement. It is saying your most primary natural condition toward God isn’t one of ignorance so that your main need is education, or even indifference so that your main need is motivation. But the natural condition of your heart is hostility against God so that your main need is reconciliation, and we already have it! Jesus Christ took our punishment and penalty. When we freely receive Jesus, we receive His record and become without spot or blemish and are utterly blameless to God. What reconciliation! ‘The Word became flesh’ (John 1:14) defines Christmas. Christ unfathomably and electively became human after experiencing perfect, face-to-face fellowship with the Father, just so that He might have the ‘joy set before him.’ (Hebrews 12:2). That joy is us!
“And angels, who we hear about all the time at Christmas, never tire of reflecting on, studying, looking at, rejoicing over the Gospel. There is nothing deeper. The Gospel is the wonder of their lives. ‘Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled.’ Your problems in life come because you have gotten over your peace with God. The reason you’re having trouble forgiving somebody is because you got over it. You’re worried because you got over it. Don’t get over it! Make us as beautiful and radiant as angels, O Lord.” - Tim Keller
From Lou Lou’s desk:
Here’s clingin’ to the glorious impossible this month.
-AA
P.S. The prison quote by Bonhoeffer at the top… movie about him out in theatres now, worth seeing 💙
Onto something
“It's obvious that we document our lives to keep our memories from fading, but how much is too much? Are we taking too many pictures?
“If you look at recent research by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University, you might think the answer is yes. Her research has suggested that taking photos can actually impair your ability to recall details of the event later, despite – and likely because of – the effort spent taking excessive photographs.
“‘What I think is going on is that we treat the camera as a sort of external memory device,’ Henkel says. ‘We have this expectation that the camera is going to remember things for us, so we don’t have to continue processing that object and we don’t engage in the types of things that would help us remember it,’ says Henkel.
“Of course, we’ve felt the need to take photos for decades, when almost every household in Western Europe and America owned a camera.
“But the shift from film to digital has also changed why we take photos and how we use them.
“Research has confirmed what many of us suspect – that the primary role of photography has shifted from commemorating special events and remembering family life, to a way of communicating to our peers, forming our own identity, and bolstering social bonds. While older adults adopting digital cameras tend to use them as memory tools, younger generations tend to use the photos taken on them as a means of communication.
“So how often should we take photos? Unless you’re a professional, Henkel suggests limiting the amount of photos you allow yourself to take and to be more selective in order to get more of the benefits with fewer of the potential costs.
‘“If you’re on vacation and enjoying some beautiful site, take a couple pictures and put the camera away and enjoy the site,’ she says. ‘Later, go through them, organise them, print them out, and take the time to reminisce with other people. Those are all things that help keep memories alive.’” - Tiffanie Wen, BBC (2015)
$eventeen going on forty
It’s game week and plenty of us are planning Saturday around the midday FSU-GT matchup in Dublin.
FOOTBALL. IS. BACK.
The day I don’t get over-the-top pumped to say those three words is ideally the day I’m no longer breathing.
I think as media, fans, coaches, it’s been easy the past couple of years to develop a jaded lens. Jaded by the money, jaded by the empty promises, jaded by the transfer portal, jaded by the seismic conference shifts. But I think for those of us that love following recruiting, love college football and want to keep loving it, we have to remind ourselves that amid the often off-putting landscape, so much of what delights us is still present.
Five-star offensive tackle David Sanders, arguably the most household name in recruiting for the 2025 class, announced his commitment to Tennessee over Ohio State, Georgia, and Nebraska last weekend at Providence Day High School in Charlotte, N.C. in front of a large crowd of family and friends.
Sanders’ agent, who drove up from Atlanta, pleasantly introduced himself to me on-site at the announcement and the conversation was normal, but also served as a real-time realization that agents in college football haven’t quite become mainstream to my brain.
At the beginning of his announcement speech, Sanders said, “Visits every weekend… It's been a blessing for our family. I’m excited to get it over with.” Despite the celebratory sentiment of the day, there was an undercurrent of relief.
A significant focus these days is on the going rate for a premium prospect at X position, what school has the biggest and best NIL resources, or who’s behind the scenes driving the conversations of money. It’s easy to forget they’re still 15-, 16-, 17-year-old kids.
I think it’s become so pedestrian to label big-time prospects as being bought by this school, or leveraging with that school, that we forget the human part. The teenager part.
Sanders’ tears started flowing when he began thoughtfully describing what the closest individuals in his life meant to him and the tears didn’t stop because the emotion and mental load of the past couple of years finally surfaced for us to see, reminding the world that despite his 6-foot-6, nearly 300-pound frame, he’s a high schooler that has carried a burden - because that’s what it’s been - for years.
As his speech progressed, it was as if we were witnessing a physical release of this weight, so distinctly identifiable and tangible. You shared in his relief as he poured out his emotion.
His teammates, sitting in the bleachers a few rows behind me, were taking best-guesses on his destination minutes leading up to his announcement. On their phones, laughing with each other, normal stuff. When Sanders began talking about what teammates Leo Delaney and Miles Funderburk meant to him, he choked up and fought through an unsteady voice to finish his sentences. And his teammates almost didn’t know how to react to Sanders’ display of sentimentality. Because do any of us really know what it’s like to be in his shoes? We can imagine it, sure, but we’ve not been living it day in and day out for years.
The tally of visits (seven officials!), the countless conversations with persuasive and esteemed college coaches, the media requests, the social media consumption and speculation, the family conversations, the agent conversations, the societal emphasis on this-is-the-biggest-decision-of-your-life-so-don’t-screw-it-up.
How cool that a 17-year-old five-star left tackle completely lets his guard down and shows the world what truly matters to him? Sanders got specific when discussing each family member – grandparents, three younger sisters, and parents – while unsuccessfully holding back tears the whole time. The nature of his relationships was inspiring and something everyone should want in their family unit. A 17-year-old was not acting too cool for any of it. That was the coolest part of all.
And finally what took the striking aspect of it to another level was that Sanders has not been someone throughout the recruiting process that has shown the public he’s felt the weight of pressure. His staple smile, always yes ma’am, confidence in interviews, a jovial manner but also business-like in his approach, his courteous nature— from an outsiders’ point of view, he’s been steady and unflappable. But to see the onslaught of fervor and tears on Saturday, it reminded me of why I love covering recruiting. Because it’s all human interest after all.
Toward the end of our pre-announcement interview, Sanders mentioned that his time was coming to an end. He meant his time as an uncommitted prospect, of course. But he’s got his whole life in front of him. His senior season at PD, his college career as a Vol, and anything and everything beyond that. In more ways it’s a beginning.
Here’s to hoping that as exciting and anticipatory as the announcement day was for Sanders, it’s not the most memorable part of his playing career and what comes after.
And telling myself to pull up the YouTube link to his announcement anytime I feel like the bottom-line of the recruiting business starts to diminish the joy of what I get to do for a living.
Football season is upon us. Enjoy it.
-AA
365 as mom
“Can we please keep the bathroom door closed so he doesn’t eat the toilet paper or splash in the toilet (or eat the toilet paper after it’s been splashed in the toilet)?” is what I asked James an hour before jotting down some thoughts reflecting on my first year as a mom.
Had planned on writing what sage things I’ve learned about motherhood, but after repeating that question again out loud to myself I need to audible to something else.
Maybe more along the lines of what I’ve learned about myself. It’s been the best year of my life. Best, most joy-inducing, sin-revealing, awe-inspiring, and sanctifying year of my life.
I’ve learned just as much (more?) about who I am as wife, daughter, sister, Christian, and reporter as who I am as a mom these past 365 days.
‘Cause it’s not like I’ve had to impart life lessons or navigate discipline or simultaneously manage a toddler and a newborn. (How do moms do that??) No, but I have had to catch myself robotically snapping at [husband] James when I’m tired. (Ah, but tired here seems like cop-out. Just end the sentence at James, period.) Or giving off an aroma of resentment when he’s out of the house 8-6 M-F WORKING while I’m balancing working from home with a part-time (godsend-of-a) nanny. You know, the short fuse at night before bedtime or the text message with a hint of attitude- just so he KNOWS how challenging the balancing act has really been that day while he’s out of the house playing golf— errr working. (At risk of rounding like a brat, I have to remind myself of this.) Or trying to people-please so it can seem like I’ve got it all under control. (“Yes of course let’s do this, this, and this, and this/this/this at Christmas and it’s all goooood!”)
So much of the past year has been like dunking your head under cold water and coming up for air in hopes of feeling refreshed and renewed as you vehemently vow to look onward and upward, but having selfishness and pride and insecurity slowly… streak… down your face as unavoidable remnants and stark reminders that you can’t just merely try harder the next day “to do better” without really, really confronting the root of it first and foremost.
I thrive on “hard.” I love a challenge, always have. Pumping in the bathroom stall of the press box while taking second-half notes on my phone. Accepting a new position at work two weeks before James was born. Naturally drawn to the when-the going-gets-tough, the-tough-get-going mantra as applicable in 9/10 situations. Yada, yada, yada. Check the boxes and cross off the to-do list.
But those things are actually my “easy,” I think. I know.
Some of my “hard” in actual reality: not teetering between an image that’s both Godly and worldly depending on how I feel that day (it’s an art!); justifying to myself why I “deserve” to feel/act a certain way (comes naturally); or caring too much about the approval of others (and questioning every other sentence in writing this post).
That last point brings me to this from Cleere Cherry:
“I think we are really hungry, honestly, for not the trendy kind of authenticity, but true authenticity, the kind that strips away the pretense and allows us to actually be where are at. We live in a culture of fig leaves. We have all different kinds of things we use to cope and conceal and control. We are so used to applying filters. I don't think we are aware of how much our decisions to alter the outside affect our emotional health and spiritual awareness on the inside. While we may not think that applying a temporary filter to our outside automatically tells our insides you're not enough or you're too much, we inherently begin to do the same thing with the inside. What begins as an initial touch-up to the external turns into a constant obsession. We desperately want to be known by Jesus and by others and by ourselves, but we are terrified of what it requires. We have trained ourselves with hiding what isn't presentable or cool in our minds. And the problem is when others say they love us or when we hear that Jesus loves us, we cannot even fully receive that love because we know it's not the real us that we are presenting.
“I wonder how much of life we don't run after. It's normalized. In efforts to chameleon ourselves, we don't know who we are outside of who we think we should be or what others think we should be. Who am I in God? What do we enjoy? What lights us on fire? By working to gather fig leaves, think about how little time you actually have left to pursue what matters. Isn't that a little heartbreaking?
“The intimacy we crave is on the other side of us willing to be unfiltered. God's greatest desire is intimacy with us. He knows that intimacy is only built through trust. God is never mad that we surrender the raw version of ourselves to Him. The more honest you are with yourself, others, and Jesus, the more free you will become. Honesty is brave, countercultural, and beautiful. You are not supposed to age backwards. You aren't supposed to not have scars from life and circumstances.”
Scars and such. When doubt creeps in, I tell myself I’d rather get rocked by an old-school, neck-roll-wearing Mike ‘backer coming free through the A-gap than be RB4 on the sidelines. Really living.
I put shoes on my one-year-old for the first time on Day 364 of his life so take this with a grain of salt. But three things that I confidently speak on after the past year:
1) The No. 1 thing that has helped James and I: Our days/weeks/lives go much smoother when we read our Bible together out loud at night or in the morning before baby James is awake or after he’s in bed. Just 10 minutes a couple/few times a week makes a huge difference. Doesn’t matter how much or how little you know when you start. There will be a million other things that need your attention at the time and sitting down at the dining room table reading Scripture together often sounds like a mentally taxing chore, but ya never regret it afterwards.
2) When I start to question what I’m doing as a mom re: napping, eating, schedule, etc. (hahah all the freakin’ time), I try to ask myself, what if this was our third? It’d be chaos and conflicting schedules and more of whatever goes by default. And so we’ve mainly operated with a looooose schedule. Our instructions for our year-and-a-half-old lab were longer the first weekend we left her than what we gave our parents for our kid when we left for the UK for two weeks. But that’s what works for us. If you need a stricter schedule for your sanity, then own it!!! Pick a direction and go with it even (especially) if you have no idea if it’s the right direction. Then pivot if it’s not working. Who cares what your friend/SIL/random girl is doing? The number of different ways to parent the early months will consume you if you let them.
3) How long/if you nurse should be the least interesting thing about you as a mom. Ending with a vulnerable bang here! I nursed James for 7 mos. Nursed/pumped exclusively for 4.5 mos., then supplemented with formula for the last 2.5 or so because I couldn’t keep up with the amount he needed. It was taking me pumping 3x to fill up one 6 oz bottle toward the end. Looking back, was I determined to reach 7 mos. because I was convinced that’s what was best for him— or because I had an arbitrary number in my mind and was focused on reaching it? A mix of both but more of the latter. Like I said—I crave hard. Like if it’s hard then it must be good. WRONG. It was my ego that told me I needed to reach 7. Not my doctor or my mom or anyone else. So many variables when it comes to nursing. Take the pressure off, even if it’s all internal.
It applies the other way, too. If nursing comes easy and 12 mos. is a breeze(-ish), then ignore those who suggest it’s not worth it. Heck yeah it’s worth the effort if you think it’s worth the effort. Least interesting. Both sides of spectrum.
Most days as a mom you don’t go 120 seconds without thinking of a tiny person. If it’s not what’s-for-lunch, it’s trying to unload three forks and a plate from the dishwasher before he dives through the dog door and out onto the porch. If it’s not fighting tooth and nail to change a diaper (open to any and all suggestions), it’s picking him from his nap and holding on so so tight to sleepy cuddles. If it’s not being in his presence, it’s missing his presence. But also when you’re not missing his presence, it’s wondering if you should be missing it.
It’s looking at him wondering daily how you got so incredibly lucky and knowing that there’s no other love like it. But also allowing yourself to feel disbelief over the fact that how much you love him dims(!) in comparison to how much our Savior loves all of us.
”Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!”- Matthew 7:9-11
I wish I could write here all that I’ve learned (and forgotten) and learned again (and daily must preach to myself again and again and again because oh how easy it is to get swept up by the ways of this world) about grace and heaven. But I’ll link some of it if you’re interested.
Here is the beautiful gist of what I must remind myself constantly. (And here for Part II)
Here is a 40-minute podcast episode centered on the story of Jonah that encapsulates every human heart.
And Tim Keller’s short podcast series on marriage here. Home run of an excerpt:
“The real mistake is you feel like the conflict marriage has brought you into is a conflict with your spouse. Not a bit. The power of marriage is this: marriage brings you into a confrontation not with your spouse, but yourself.
“It gets you by the scruff of your neck and puts you in front of a mirror and says, 'Look at these things.' Marriage helps you escape from your sins because it's inescapable!!! Marriage will show you your worts and flaws in a way that you can't escape them, and you'll have to cry out to God, and say 'Lord, only you can help me.' And that's the beginning of your healing. Proverbs says iron sharpens iron and friend sharpens friend and if that's true of good friends, how much more will the ultimate friendship -- a marriage -- do that? It's constructive conflict. You ought to think of each individual that goes into a marriage as a rough stone put into a gem tumbler and the gem tumbler brings you into constructive conflict with one another, knocking the rough edges off so that when you come out of that tumbler, you're beautiful, smooth, and polished. And the glories inherent in that gem are revealed for the eye to see.”
Webb Simpson (golfer who co-hosts a great podcast) complimented his wife and mom-of-five, Dowd, by saying: “She fulfills herself by denying herself so that the ones she can’t live without can live without her.”
This is the goal. Fulfilling by denying. Work in progress. But that’s the answer. The only answer.
OK bye thanks for reading this far. All three of you.
-AA
Incomplete love
Here are 10 of my favorite quotes that I typically refer to daily.
“And if you live for yourself, remember, the bigger you get in your eyes, the smaller you get in your eyes.” - Tim Keller
******************************************************************************
“If you suddenly or unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give into it. Whatever it is don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.” - Mary Oliver
******************************************************************************
“Let them experience/do hard things to see how capable they are at an early age. Society will teach them to avoid all bad feelings… but teach your girl that she can handle the good and the bad. A mean comment, a hard truth, a sad season… they were meant to weather the storm. My dad told me in junior high that there would always be someone prettier and more talented than me, and he was right. It made me realize I was not in a competition with others. My job is to do the best with the lot he gave me. I expected life to be hard and wasn’t surprised by its challenges. In the back of my mind, I knew that the good was a fleeting gift and the bad a temporary challenge. I was exposed to a lot of difficult realities of life really early… poverty, starvation, war, etc. and I’m so grateful I had parents who helped me see above and beyond the daily discomforts/inconveniences of life. If your daughter is caught up in silly things… get her out of that silly environment. Travel, talk about things that matter, open her eyes to a world far beyond which boy likes her in school and what she wears. Make her world bigger.” - Sam Ponder
******************************************************************************
“So instead we respond to evil force with the violence of grace. Think Les Mis! ‘When Jean Valjean left the bishop’s home, he felt he knew the pardon of this priest was the hardest assault and the most formidable attack which he had ever sustained on his heart. (Grace does violence. Grace is traumatic. Grace destroys enmity.) He knew therefore he must conquer or be conquered. There was no longer a middle course for him now. He would either have to mount higher than the bishop or fall lower than a galley slave. If he became good, he knew he would become an angel. And if he would remain wicked, he knew he would become a monster. He wept long and bitterly. But while he wept, a light grew brighter in his mind, a light at once transporting and terrible it seemed to him horrible and frightful, and then he realized it was a soft light upon that life and upon that soul, and he realized he was looking upon Satan by the light of paradise.’ That’s the Gospel. There’s nothing more formidable and violent in the best possible way than grace. That’s what Jesus did on the cross. Grace is astounding because it is so meritless, so free.” - Keller
******************************************************************************
“I thought I had to travel the world to find meaning. Voyage into the noise— like most do. But I do believe I’ve already found deep meaning, in quite the opposite. Silence. The light shining through the kitchen window had so much to tell me, all I had to do was listen.” - Sadahire
******************************************************************************
“French philosopher Simone Weil, a Jewish woman that came to Christian faith, says the love we feel for the splendor of the heavens, the plains, the sea and the mountains, for the breath of the wind or the warmth of the sun, this love of which every human being has at least an inkling, is an incomplete painful love. Because the beauty of the world makes us yearn for some universal beauty behind it that does not seem to respond to us. The world is singing to us about something that we can’t enter. Now what would that be?“ - Keller
******************************************************************************
“What is meant to happen is when I am done with a meal, I am filled with a sense of presence and love of God… not just saying this is the best restaurant ever and I want this restaurant in my life. And so, you have to train yourself to experience the greater blessing behind the blessing. The fact you can peel a tangerine and it’s sweet and juicy, is there because God loves you and He’s present. That’s his little message: I’m in your life and I love you and I want you to experience good things. It’s like driving your family to the beach for a wonderful family vacation, an awesome wonderful time, and you stop at the first sign for the beach and have your vacation there. You’re not fully experiencing the blessings in your life if you aren’t praising God for them.” - Paul David Tripp
******************************************************************************
“‘Other-orientation’ is at the heart of the universe. Jesus says, ‘So now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had in your presence before the world existed.’ (John 17:5) Greek theologians call this perichoresis (where we get the English word choreography) of love. Each person in the Trinity centers (think dances!) on the other two with delight, love, glory, and honor. The very heart of God is self-giving love. So self-giving love is what we are made for since we are made in His image.” - Keller
******************************************************************************
“Every human being has a deep spiritual longing but in our natural state, those deep spiritual longings are distorted by fear. Every human being is deeply religious, but the religion that we've all got is a religion of fear. Paul says that every human being is homo religioso, is inherently religious. The deepest need that any human being has got is to worship. We all have got to have some overarching religious goal or purpose that gives everything else meaning. We are not like animals. We cannot get up every day and simply do what's there. We have to worship. Every human being is deeply religious, regardless of what you think, regardless of what you claim. Know yourselves here. Everyone must worship. Nature will be served, and we'll worship something even if it's bad. Unless the Holy Spirit has come in and renewed our heart, unless we've actually found the true God through faith in Christ, all of our religions are essentially religions of fear. They do not know their Father will either give them what they ask or he will give them something better. They don't believe that they've got a Father up there that will listen to their prayer. And the reason for that is simply this: The natural bent of the human heart is to know there is a God, but to not trust him further than you can throw him. And you know what? You can't throw God very far. How heavy is omnipotence?” - Keller
******************************************************************************
“Whatever happened to him in that moment was the end of the world as Paul had known it— it was the loss of all things. Amid that loss, Paul came to know Christ. The narrative arc of his life had been crucified. In that eulogy moment, Paul actually discovered what it meant to be in Christ, to know Christ. And that became all that mattered for him. For Paul, to be in Christ means to be in Christ’s story: losing all things and finding everything in the process. We spend the vast majority of our lives building and accumulating. When we face the loss of all things and everything comes crashing down, that’s the moment that Christ shows up. That’s the moment we come to know Christ. Theologian Andrew Root says, ‘To be in Christ is to encounter the opposite in collision. It’s to find the divine in the human; life in suffering; strength in weakness. To be in Christ is to find him ministering to you in and through your experiences of denial. Faith is the way into this realm because only the faith of Jesus himself can find coherence in the experience of these opposites. Only with that faith can there be new reality from where death comes life.’ Beloved, that is indeed the call of faith. We may have spent a lifetime of learning about Christ, but when the resume values fail us and we face the loss of all things, that’s when we come to know Christ, which is very different than knowing about Christ. Thus, Paul writes he ‘wants to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the sharing of his sufferings by becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead’ (Philippians 3:10-11). By the grace of God working through the faith of Christ, may it be so. Amen.” - Joe Clifford
All that’s good Part II
Some speak of spiritual resurrection, but as the sunrise requires a sun, resurrection requires a physical body. That’s what resurrection means. To simply to speak of a ‘resurrection’ of the dead is to imply physicality. The Bible has no categories for the concept of a resurrected body that remains dead and physically lying in a grave. Since Christ's resurrection is the pattern of our resurrection, we will therefore be raised in a physical body as well when Christ comes again.
When we die, our spirits go to the present heaven while our bodies go to the grave, awaiting resurrection. We will never be all God intended until body and spirit are reunited in heaven. And just as our new bodies won’t be non-bodies, but real bodies, so the new earth will be a real earth, not a non-earth. But it’ll be this earth that God redeems because he loved this earth so much He sent His only Son.
We err when we confuse the present heaven with the future heaven that God will bring down to the new earth. The present heaven is “far better” (Philippians 1:23) than our current lives now under the curse of sin and suffering. Upon death, we will be “at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8). But the point is, wonderful though it will be, we shouldn’t think of the present heaven as if it were our ultimate home. The best is yet to come — eternal and delightful life worshiping and serving the forever-incarnate Jesus on the new earth. Paradise comes after death, but the Kingdom comes when Christ comes again. God never changes, but heaven will change. The Bible indicates that after our resurrection, God will relocate his central dwelling place to the new earth:
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. . . . I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. . . . I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.” (Revelation 21:1-3)
We’re told “the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it [the new earth], and his servants will worship him” (Revelation 22:3). Heaven is where God’s throne is, where he dwells with his people. Hence, the new earth will be heaven on earth. When Christians die, we go to live with God in his place. That’s the present heaven. But after the resurrection, God will come down to live with us in our place. The future heaven, on the new earth, will not be “us with God” but “God with us.”
If Satan can get us to buy into an eternity unearthly, ghostly, or (God forbid) boring, we won’t think about eternity. And if we don’t think about it, why would we tell others or orient our lives toward it? Trying to develop an appetite for an eternity of disembodied existence is like trying to develop an appetite for gravel. The only good news about this view is that it’s absolutely false. The Bible’s actual teaching should thrill us: eternity in a redeemed physical body living on a new physical earth.
The hope of heaven consumed Paul. Why? Because he thought well about heaven. When our thoughts run in biblical tracks, we begin to understand that the joys of heaven will be full and deep and exuberant — pleasures enormous! We will not float as disembodied spirits strumming harps for eternity (however that works). Heaven will brook no boredom. It will be more solid, not less — more physical, more tangible, more diamond-hard, more real than anything we experience now. And yet, everything we experience now helps us imagine what is coming. Paul himself teaches us how to think about heaven when he says, “No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9). We may infer that paradise will be better than the best things we experience now, better even than the wildest joys we can imagine. You can learn to think well about heaven by enjoying all the good things in this life now, lifting them as high as your imagination can go, and saying, this, but better. After all, the best things now serve as a mere taste test, as echoes of the music or bright shadows of the far better country to come.
And what about suffering? It’s not a mere comforting pat on the back and a cease in suffering that you’ll get upon resurrection. It’ll give you the real, material life you really want— hugging, dancing, laughing, loving! In a new physical body. When you lose something valuable to you then find it, you appreciate it more and enjoy it more after you find it. Thus, even the worst suffering you have in this world will only make your eventual joy even greater for it having happened. Read that again! We feel like this life is the only life we’ll only ever have, that his body is the only body we’ll ever have, that this money is the only money we’ll ever have. But the doctrine of resurrection doesn’t just say that someday you’ll go to heaven and get consolation for all the things you’ve lost or suffered on earth, but it says God will renew this material world.
Have you ever thought about why the very first sign that Jesus performed was not healing or raising from the dead, but turning water into wine at a party? Because the Bible is filled with prophesies that say the natural world is just a shadow of what it’s going to be like when Jesus comes back. He’s the King of the ultimate feast.
“On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all people a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine, of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined. And he will swallow up on this mountain the covering that is cast over all peoples, the veil that is spread over all nations. He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken. It will be said on that day, ‘Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the Lord; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.’” - Isaiah 25:6-9
- Tim Keller and John Piper
All that’s good
The eve of his death on the cross, Jesus went to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray.
In the Garden, he started to pray and as he prayed, shock— why? It’s not a shrinking of prospect of physical suffering but rather the horror of one who lived holy for the Father and came to be with the Father for an interlude but found Hell rather than Heaven open to him in his spiritual consciousness.
Jesus knew some of his disciples would be terribly tortured in His name, but that that was nothing compared to what He was going to experience: rejection by God. That’s what Hell is. Your soul was built for Him.
And to be cut off from God is far worse than physical torture. Jesus knew perfect fellowship with the Father more than any person, as he had already experienced it in its fullest, face-to-face. (“Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had in your presence before the world existed.” - John 17:5)
And because Jesus’s relationship with God was infinitely greater than ours, then his Hell would be infinitely worse than all of ours put together, and it was. And he staggered and he tore his breasts. He turned to the Father and instead Hell opened up.
Jonathan Edwards says, ‘The agony was called by a vivid, bright, immediate view of the wrath of God. Jesus turned to the Father in prayer but began instead to experience the exclusion of God.’ Up to this point, nothing surprised Jesus. But now he’s astonished and shocked— to the point he was sweating blood. In the Garden he was getting a foretaste of what he’d get on the cross. Why is it happening now? Because he has more time to realize the pain and more time to escape! It was radically voluntary, so it enhances everything he does. It was not proper that he plunge himself into the furnace not knowing how dreadful that furnace would be. Therefore, God brought him and set him at the mouth of the furnace that he might look in and stand and view its fierce and raging flames and might voluntarily enter into it. infinitely perfect. If that was just a foretaste in the Garden, what might the actual thing of the cross been like?
That’s the type of love you’ve been looking for your entire life and when you see that you’ll be able to trust the Father in your suffering and it’ll make you into something great. If Jesus didn’t abandon you under these circumstances, why would he abandon you now? Fall down at his feet, adore him for what he did, and when you get up you’ll be like him.
Hebrews 12:2 says the joy set before him allowed him to endure the cross, and that the joy was us! He lost everything and yet he thought it was worth it for the result, which was us. The only thing that Christ didn’t have before he suffered that he had after he suffered was you and me. Therefore you were his living hope, that’s what got him through it!
- Tim Keller
A saint
“Saints are not freaks or exceptions. They are the standard operating model for human beings. In fact, in the biblical sense of the word, all believers are saints. ‘Sanctity’ means holiness. All men, women and children, born or unborn, beautiful or ugly, straight or gay, are holy, for they bear the image of God. Saints are not the opposite of sinners. There are no opposites of sinners in this world. There are only saved sinners and unsaved sinners. Thus holy does not mean ‘sinless" but "set-apart:’ called out of the world to the destiny of eternal ecstasy with God. What is a saint? First of all, one who knows he is a sinner. A saint knows all the news, both the bad news of sin and the good news of salvation. A saint is a true scientist, a true philosopher. A saint is a realist. A saint is also an idealist. A saint embraces heroic suffering out of heroic love. A saint also embraces heroic joy. (This is one of the criteria for canonization: Saints must have joy.) A saint is a servant of Christ. A saint is also a conqueror greater than Alexander, who only conquered the world. A saint conquers himself. What does it profit a man if he conquers the whole world but does not conquer himself? A saint is so open that he can say, with Paul, ‘I have learned, in whatever situation I find myself, to be self-sufficient. I know how to live in humble circumstances; I know also how to live with abundance’ (Phil. 4:11-12). A saint marries God ‘for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death.’ A saint is a sworn enemy of the world, the flesh, but also a friend and lover of the world. He kisses this sin-cancered world with the tender lips of the God of John 3:16. A saint declares God's war on this world, sinking the cross into the enemy occupied earth like a sword, the hilt held by heaven. At the same time he stretches his arms out on that very cross as if to say, ‘See? This is how wide my love is for you!’ A saint is Christ's bride, totally attached, faithful, dependent. A saint is also totally independent, detached from idols and from other husbands. A saint works among these others money, power, pleasure as a married woman works with other men, but will not marry them or even flirt with them. A saint is higher than anyone else in the world. A saint is the real mountain climber. A saint is also lower than anyone else in the world. As with water, he flows to the lowest places like Calcutta. A saint's heart is broken by every little sorrow and sin. A saint's heart is also so strong that not even death can break it. It is indestructible because it's so breakable. A saint's heart is broken by every little sorrow and sin. A saint's heart is also so strong that not even death can break it. It is indestructible because it's so breakable. A saint takes his hands off the steering wheel of his life and lets God steer. That's scary, for God is invisible. A saint also has hands that move the world. He has feet that move through the world with a sure step. A saint does not let others play God to him. A saint takes his orders from the General, not from the army. A saint also does not play God to others. A saint is a little Christ. Not only do we see Christ through His saints, as we see a light through a stained glass window, but we also understand the saints only through Christ, as we understand eggs only through chickens. The saints are our family. We are one Body. They are our legs and we are theirs. That's why their feast is our feast. As Pascal says, ‘Examples of noble deaths of Spartans and others hardly affect us... but the example of the deaths of martyrs affects us, for they are our members... we do not become rich through seeing a rich stranger, but through seeing a father or husband rich.’ We become saints not by thinking about it, and not (certainly) by writing about it, but simply by doing it. There comes a time when the how question stops and we just do it. If the one we love were at our door knocking to come in, would we wonder how the door lock works, and how we could move our muscles to open it? Francis of Assisi once told his monks that if they were in the midst of the Beatific Vision and a tramp knocked at their door asking for a cup of cold water, turning away from the heavenly vision to help the tramp would be the real heaven, and turning away from the tramp to keep the blissful vision would be turning from God's face. A saint is one who sees who the tramp is: Jesus.“ - Peter Kreft